Learning to Trust in the Process

Jet Rupar LMT CMLDT ACSM EP

Trusting the process can be a tough thing.

Over the last 15 years, I’ve learned a lot of different techniques working with massage, pressure, and the body—and honestly, some of them surprised me. They made me step back and rethink how I approach clients, their problem areas, and even how I use my hands.

It all comes down to trusting a process that goes a bit against what many people expect from massage.

A lot of folks believe that if a massage doesn’t hurt, it won’t help. That more pressure will fix whatever’s going on. That if they’re not gritting their teeth through it, the problem isn’t being addressed. Sometimes that approach even leaves people bruised and sore for days.

Now, sure—there are times where more pressure is appropriate, especially for people with more muscle mass.

But… what if we tried something different?

Our bodies are pretty incredible—and pretty smart. They relax when they feel safe, and they brace when something feels stressful… including too much pressure.

So instead of forcing the body to change, we start by creating the conditions for it to want to change.

We slow things down.
We focus on the breath.
We let the nervous system settle.

From there, we begin to listen.

What is the body actually saying?
Is the pain sharp? Achy? Constant? Does it come and go?

Because pressure alone can sometimes add to that discomfort instead of resolving it.

Techniques like SMRT, Manual Lymph Drainage, and oncology massage all work with the nervous system, not against it. Using lighter pressure and full-hand contact can signal safety and care, which allows the body to let its guard down.

We can also use positioning—changing how your body is placed—along with gentle pressure (like in SMRT) to help muscles and nerve endings relax, reducing the pain being felt.

I know—it can sound like a lot.

And if you’re used to being in pain, slowing down like this can actually feel unfamiliar… even uncomfortable at first.

But this approach creates a conversation.

It allows you and your therapist to work together in real time, responding to what your body is doing moment to moment. As one area settles, another might show up—even if it seems unrelated.

Most of the time, it’s not random.

Our bodies develop patterns—of tension, compensation, and stress—that are all connected, even if they don’t seem like it on the surface.

This is not a quick fix.

It’s a slower process than most of us are used to in our day-to-day lives. But that’s also why consistency matters. Regular massage gives your body the time and space to unwind those patterns gradually, instead of forcing change all at once.

And something else happens along the way:

You start to feel your body again.

(If you’re anything like me, living in your head is kind of the default setting.)

This work helps quiet the mind just enough so the body can finally do what it’s been trying to do all along.