A not so quick update from my last post here

Jet Rupar, LMT CMLDT EP-C EIM-II

I realize that it’s been a hot moment since I last posted here about my fitness journey. There has definitely been a lot of things happening, especially with the holidays. I will admit here, although I didn’t do too bad with eating through the holidays, it probably wasn’t the most ideal of diets, either. Ah yes, that dreaded term, diet. Just using it here because I haven’t quite found the right lifestyle choices for me yet, eating wise, and diet is a widely accepted…. term.

Be that what it may, PT has been going well, and the pain that has been holding me back for years is finally subsiding. It still gives me issues, and lets me know when I haven’t done my exercises (through pain), it’s definitely not what it was when we last chatted here. And I am very thankful for this. However, I still haven’t gotten an exceedingly good amount of exercise in. And there are….. reasons. It’s dark, and it’s cold, and eww. Which, aren’t exactly great reasons within itself, and I know this. Not having a gym to go to is another reason, but right now I don’t feel safe going to a gym. However, I know that there are plenty of videos out there via streaming services like Netflix, Amazon Prime, Youtube, etc. (And I’m not encouraging you to go out and do this, just stating that this is a thing that I could be doing and I’m not.)

All of this has lead me to realize that I am feeling very ashamed. Of myself for not sticking with what I need to consistently do, with allowing myself to get as heavy as I have, for just being heavy. Because lets face it, there is a stigma about being heavy/fat/whatever word you want to use for it. Media does not allow for something that doesn’t fit the mold it wants. And I’ve spent days pondering over this. Not quite woe is me, but still kind of letting myself be upset about it.

I’ve decided, however, to shake it off (que Shake It Off by Taylor Swift)

I know that I am loved and appreciated, no matter how I look, or what I eat. The biggest thing is that I am healthy for me, so that I can take advantage of all this wonderful planet has to offer. I have places and people to visit, and I want to make sure that I am healthy to go do those things. I also want to be here and healthy so that I may serve my community doing the work that I love best. This means doing the things to help me be my best.

Which means that I am now journaling my food and water intake, as well as exercise. Because this keeps me accountable to myself. I can see what I am eating, and what energy it gives me. I can see the nutrition that I am giving myself, so that I can do those things I love. Because this is how I get to become my best self ever (even if it sometimes gets sad, depressed and anxious).

Until next time, may you find the peace you need!