Chronic Illness Mindset

By Jet Rupar, LMT CMLDT EPC

Living with a chronic condition can be difficult. And this is, by no means, on just one level of life. There are so many factors of life that make this statement true.

Any condition that a person will live with chronically, which basically means 6 months or more (typically throughout the rest of a person’s life), is filled with emotions, both within that person by themselves and within society as a whole. If you do not live with a chronic condition, you don’t see the pain that creeps up, sometimes out of nowhere. The exhaustion that comes with fighting not only your own mind and body, but with expectations of your peers as to what you should or should not be doing. You deal with times that you feel great and feel like you can conquer anything. Other times, you deal with the pain or energy drain of a flair up. With those flare ups comes putting on a show so that other people don’t realize that something is wrong. And then there are the times you don’t know if something is coming or going or what is going on.

Unfortunately, human nature does not like seeing chronic illness. It does not like being reminded that something can go wrong with our bodies, that life can be fragile. Defenses go up. Society’s brains try to suggest things to those suffering from chronic illness, not because it’s not there, but because it doesn’t want to admit that it can happen to them at any second. Because it is difficult to admit that we can loose our ability to do anything.

I myself have a chronic illness, as well as chronic pain. It had taken me 8 (yes, 8) years to realize that the issues that I have with my stomach and digestive system are never going away at this point. For years, I thought that if I did all of the right things…… eat the right things, exercise, get that exact yoga pose, etc, that things would eventually get better. What I found out was that I can only manage the symptoms I feel on a nearly daily basis. Meds along with eat healthier help to manage most of the issue, but there are days that aren’t so good. Those days are usually spent curled up in a ball on my bed or in the bathroom crying. And with the chronic pain?? Exercise does help. There are also days that not even the extra strength ibuprofen helps.

The illness may not ever go away. However, there are things that can help make things….. easier.

Acceptance. Both from society at large and from a personal prospective. If someone states they aren’t feeling well because of a chronic condition, instead of telling a person they should do this, find out if there is something that you can do to help. Most times there may not be. However, they may have you do something small to help them conserve spoons. And just accept that this is how their body is. No shame. No bullying into doing something they may not be able to do.

Talk about it more. If you do not have a chronic illness, do you have a friend who does? Ask them what it is like. Get a sense of what it would be like to live with this or that certain thing. Folks with chronic illness, be honest with people. Some people just may not know. Learning to live, share and help each other is what makes this life so great. People can suck, but it takes just one person to make it suck a bit less. Help each other out.

Find support groups if you need extra help. There are so many different types of support groups out there. And I’m pretty sure that since we’ve dealt with covid, much more can be found online. We all want to feel included, like we are not alone. This is one way to care for yourself and know that you are not the only one going thru your issue.

And lastly, lets just be kind. Life is rough for us all. No need to make it more difficult.